Guide for everyone
Great feedback
Feedback helps when it's given to help and read with an open mind. Four principles cover both sides: two for giving it, two for receiving it.
The 4As
The first two are for giving feedback. The last two are for receiving it.
Aim to assist
Give feedback because you want them to succeed, not to vent or score points. Say how a change would help them or the organisation.
Actionable
Focus on what they could do differently: the behaviour, its effect, and what better looks like.
Appreciate
When receiving feedback, resist the urge to explain or defend. Read with curiosity and assume good intent.
Accept or discard
Consider all of it. Act on what's useful. The choice is yours.
Adapted from the feedback principles described by Reed Hastings and Erin Meyer in No Rules Rules (2020).
Guide for contributors
Giving feedback
Someone has asked for your honest view because they want to get better. These notes will help you make it useful.
Why your view matters
You see things the person can't see from the inside. Your honest view, given with care, can change how they work for years. Kind words alone are pleasant to read, but they don't give them much to work with.
Describe what you see
The most useful feedback has three parts: what they do, the effect it has, and what better would look like. Together they turn an opinion into something a person can act on.
- 1 · The behaviour
In project meetings, you often answer questions meant for others.
- 2 · The effect
People stop offering ideas.
- 3 · What better looks like
Letting others answer first would bring more of them in.
One example beats five adjectives
Words like "great", "disorganised" or "inspiring" are hard to act on. A specific moment shows what you mean. You don't need dates or names: "in team meetings" or "when deadlines move" is enough.
Strengths deserve detail too
Saying what someone does well, and why it matters, tells them what to keep doing. "Good communicator" is kind. "Explains complex changes so the whole team can act on them the same day" is useful.
What to leave out
- Personal attacks or insults.
- Comments on appearance, private life, or characteristics such as age, gender, religion, ethnicity, disability or health.
- Venting, with nothing they could act on.
If something is hard to say, say it as you would to their face: kindly and plainly.
How anonymity works
Your name is removed and your feedback is combined with everyone else's. The mentor reads your comments exactly as written, but never sees who wrote them. The person you're writing about receives a summary, which may quote positive things you said, word for word. They and their mentor can see whether you've finished, but never which comments are yours.
Very specific stories can make you recognisable. If a detail would point straight to you, keep the point and leave out the detail.
English or Arabic
Write in whichever language you're most comfortable with, or mix the two. Your words are kept as you wrote them.
Less and more useful examples
For each of the three questions, an invented example of each.
What they do well
Less useful
Great to work with. Very positive.
More useful
When a project goes off track, you get everyone together the same day and agree a plan. People leave those meetings clear about what to do next.
It names a specific behaviour and the difference it makes.
What they could improve
Less useful
Needs to communicate better.
More useful
Decisions often reach the wider team by accident, a week after they're made. A short note after each leadership meeting would stop people working on plans that have already changed.
It shows the effect, and what better would look like.
Advice
Less useful
Keep doing what you're doing.
More useful
You're at your best when you're coaching people. Consider handing the weekly report to someone in your team and using that time for one-to-ones.
It builds on a strength and suggests one practical step.
Guide for Seekers
Receiving feedback
You asked for this, which is the hard part. These notes will help you read your summary well, and decide what to do with it.
Reading your summary
Choose your moment
Read your summary in one sitting, somewhere quiet, with time to think afterwards. Read it before your conversation with your mentor, not on the way in.
Notice the urge to explain
It's natural to want to explain, defend, or work out who said what. Try to set that aside. The summary is designed so you can't tell who wrote what, and guesses are often wrong. Assume each point was offered in good faith, by someone who took the time to help.
Notice what resonates, and what surprises
Some points will feel familiar. Others will surprise you. Both are worth noting. A surprise often means people see something you don't, which is exactly why you asked.
Give your strengths the same attention
It's easy to skim the strengths and go straight to what could improve. Don't. Knowing what people value in you tells you what to protect and build on, especially while you change other things.
If it stings
Some of it may sting. That's normal, and it usually fades. If a point lands hard, put the summary down and come back to it the next day.
The choice is yours
You don't have to act on everything. Consider all of it, act on what's useful, and let the rest go. It's perfectly reasonable to decide that a point doesn't fit.
Bring it to the conversation
Take your reactions and your questions to your mentor: what resonated, what surprised you, what you're unsure about. The conversation is where the summary turns into something you can use.
For the Seeker and mentor
Running the conversation
The round ends with one conversation between the Seeker and the mentor. These notes are for both of you.
When
Soon after the summary is released, while it's fresh. The mentor can schedule the summary to arrive the morning before, so there's time to read it without a long wait.
How long, and where
Allow 45 to 60 minutes. Choose somewhere private where you won't be interrupted, in person or on a call.
A simple shape
- How did it feel to read?
- What resonated?
- What surprised you?
- Which strengths will you build on?
- One or two things to try.
- Look at the suggested next steps together, and change them so they fit.
For the mentor
Ask, don't lecture. Let the Seeker lead, and help them think. Never hint at who said what, even if you think you know: it would break the promise made to everyone who took part.
Afterwards
Once you've had the conversation, either of you marks it held, and the round is complete. Raw feedback is deleted later, normally after 30 days, and the summary stays with you both. Nothing is tracked afterwards: what happens next is up to you.